Poison In My Veins
by LongLive-MaxRide-TMI-THG-HP
Summary: Clary Fray is a hard working collage student who just got a recurrence of cancer. Just before her life is about to hit rock bottom and particular golden boy walks in. Now Clary has to juggle treatments, school, and Jace. Each of which is a handful on its own. AU. Clace. Fluffy smut.
1. Chapter 1: Jace

**Hey! So this disclaimer will last the entire story. I LACK THE SUFFICIENT FUNDS TO PURCHASE THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS FROM CASSANDRA CLARE AND HENCE FORTH DO NOT OWN IT. Giant thank you to my beta TheOneAndOnlyFangirl!**

Simon is easily my best friend in the world. We sit down inside a local diner called Taki's. Magnus is the second closest of my friends. He is outside and catches my eye. He comes in sliding down next to Simon. "Hey Shirley, what's up?"

"It is Simon for the hundredth time." Simon is trying to turn a knife into a top and failing epicly.

"Whatever. How are you Clary?"

"Fine," I say, my voice slightly tensed. The event of the waitress coming to take our order helps cover me. Simon, though, doesn't give up. He is one of the few that know the truth.

You see, 5 years ago, when I was 15, I got diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia or ALL. It was bad and took 2 years of chemo and radiation to get rid of. The doctors keep saying that I was lucky to the the disease caught early. It has been three years since I was cured. Every August I have to go get blood drawn and tests run. Doctor Smith at St. John's Hospital just checks to make sure the cancer hasn't come back. In two days I get the results. If I make it just two more years cancer free its gone. I will then be a survivor.

I can count on one hand the people that know about me being sick: Mom, Luke, Me, and Simon. Magnus doesn't know. We met him a year and a half ago at this diner to be exact. This place is a common hangout for Columbia students.

"Clary what's up? You've been acting weird for the past week."

"It's nothing." Magnus just gives me a 'I-know-you-are-lying-and-I-will-find-out-what-is- up' look. I decide to change the topic. "You guys up for a movie later?"

"Sure," says Simon "The Alien one?"

"Actually, don't laugh, I was thinking the Oz movie."

"I'm game." Magnus agrees.

Then our food comes. We all got burgers so it takes a few tries for everyone to end up with the right plate. When we leave the diner, everyone goes their separate ways. Simon has class and Magnus heads home. I just walk around not going anywhere.

I end up on a plastic swing. I just kick at the ground moving it back and forth. The sun is still high and the grass is still green. The park is mostly deserted but two people show up to occupy the swings next to me. "Max, do you want me to push you?" questions a smooth voice from my left. On the right a small boy in a baseball cap pushes weakly at the ground.

"No, I got it." speaks the small boy. The older boy is stunning. His eyes are a bright gold and they lock on to mine.

"And you must be Red." he speaks to me.

"No. It's Clary not Red and you must be Goldy Locks?"

"Ha Ha. Thats funny." he says sarcastically. "I'm Jace and that's Max, my brother." The two of them look nothing alike, but only a protective hint to Jace's eyes. "You go to Columbia?"  
"Yeah. I'm studying art."

"An artisté. I am studying Algebra. Max is in the 5th grade. Let me see your hand."

"Why?"

"Now what fun would that be!" I stick my hand out . Jace pulls out a Sharpie. He starts to form shapes on the back of my hand. Max lets out a rough cough and slightly wheezes. Jace gets over to his brother almost instantly. "You OK?"

The little boy shakes his head. Jace turns to me. "We gotta go. I hope to see you again Red." The two of them walk off to a car. I pull my phone out to check the time when the black ink catches my eye. He left me his phone number.

-o. O.o-

It is 2 o'clock when I finish my classes on Friday. That is when I decide to call Jace. It takes four rings from him to pick up and I sit down on a bench. "Hello?" his voice is smooth like the blues.

"Hey, It's Clary from the park."

"What's up Red?"

"Nothing. Is your brother alright?"

"He's fine. Do you want to go get dinner tonight?"

"Sure."

"Do you have a place I can get you?" I tell him the address of my apartment building. I live in a three room combo. It is tiny but perfect for me. We hang up. Six o'clock is is when we planned to meet. 15 hours before my appointment. 15 hours from when my fate is on the line.

When I get home I drop down into the small love seat that serves as a couch, desk chair, and kitchen chair. I reach into my canvas bag and draw out my sketch pad. As I flip through the pages my phone rings. I let it go through. Then someone texts me. It's Simon.

Simon: OK u hav a serious problem w/ answering the phone. PICK ME UP.

He calls again. I answer it. "Alright, What's up?"

"Magnus, you got to tell him. He really thinks something is wrong. Plus he is on your way to your apartment."

"Alright, I'll call him."

"Goodluck Fray." we disconnect and I ring Magnus.

"Hey, Clary."

"How'd you know it was me?"

"This brilliant new invention called caller ID." He pauses. "Clary, what's up? You've been acting weird."

"Nothing."

"Are you pregnant? If you are it is totally fine," You could hear my jaw hit the floor.

"Wha- What? No. I just... have a big test." Ok it's not exactly a lie. There are blood tests and stuff.

"Alright. Go study."

"Where are you Mags?"

"Outside your apartment building."

"Jesus, do you want to come up?"

"Nah, go study." If only a last minute cram would pass this test.

-0.o.0-

Jace POV

I roll up to Clary's apartment building. It's like all of the other college apartments. Nothing spectacular. I go up to the door and buzz for Clary's apartment. Almost an instant later and she standing outside with me. "Hey."

"Hey, What's up?" she says stepping toward me. Damn, Clary is beautiful. She's not the slutty wannabe pretty. She is different. Drop dead, all natural, stunning. It freaks me out a little bit that she's different.

"Nothing much." I lie. A lot is going on that I don't want to get into. "What about you?"

"Same. Just school. Where are we going?"

"Come on. That would be no fun!" I start to head to the car. She doesn't move. Great, she thinks I'm a creep. "Taki's. It's a diner. You know it?"

"Was there yesterday." Oops, but she starts to walk now. "Wait is that your car?" she asks incredulously.

"Yep. That is my baby. She's a 1969 Chevy Camaro." This model is black with yellow strips.

"Somehow I pictured you the more lamborghini type."

"You know nothing about cars." I say.

"They have four wheels and some petals." I reach the drivers side and climb in. Clary gets in from the passenger door.

"Very funny, Red." We end up talking the entire way there. I tell her about Izzy, Max, and Alec, my adoptive siblings. She tells me about her friend Simon and Magnus. This girl just keeps getting better.

We were just about to go into Taki's when someone decides to call me.

-0.o.0-

Jace's phone goes off. He pays around his pockets frantically. Something makes him worry. He finds it and hurries to answer it. "Yeah..." he says into the phone, "Max... St. Johns... Alright... I'll be there." The mention of St. John's sends a chill down my spine. Jace hangs up the phone and starts the car again. "Clary, I am so sorry. Max just gotten taken to the hospital. I really got to go."

"It's fine." I don't even want to count the times Luke left work because I went to the hospital.

"I'll see you again though."

"Totally." Then he drops me off before speeding down the street. Jace can be arrogant but he nice. You know what, I like him.

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**R&R**


	2. Chapter 2: The results

**Super big thank you to all those who reviewed! Here's chapter two! A thanks to my beta TheOneAndOnlyFangirl. You should go read her stuff its great!**

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Morning rolls around. Despite how much I don't want it to. I wake up at 8:30. My alarm clock is old and takes three hits to shut off. Today I will find out what is going to happen for the next year.

I get up and make a strong cup of coffee. That helps.

A shower and clothes later I leave to catch the subway.

St. John's Hospital is really big and you have to know your way around. I've been here enough times I could walk it blindfolded. That helps me keep walking and not blowing this thing off and crawling under my covers. I walk past a cafe and the scent of espresso wafts toward me.

Oncology is on floors 6-8. I have to go to eight for the offices. I get in the elevator and it stops three times before I can get out. They've always tried to decorate the place. It is only pathetic. In a giant frame are the pictures of all the cancer kids and adults who have undergone treatment here. They are all smiling and I walk along them for awhile. A lot of kids have been here. My picture is somewhere but I don't stop to find it.

The waiting room is almost deserted. A young boy pushes a cart around. I check in and sit down. Jace has text me two times since last night. One says 'Hi' and the other asks when we could we meet again. Would he want to see me if everything goes downhill? No. No one wants to be with someone who is sick. Maybe just one more dinner? I don't have anymore time for my internal monologue. A nurse with a smile calls my name. Man I hate fake smiles. The nurse leads me to Doctor Smith's office.

Doctor Smith is a middle aged man with greying hair. He motions for me to sit. I sit.

"How are you feeling Clary?" he asks.

"Fine."

"Nothings wrong?" He presses further. This is not good.  
"No. I've been completely normal."

"Well... your white blood cell count is larger than 're going to have to start treatment again. I'm sorry, Clary, but your cancer is back." This makes me cold and my knuckles grow white because of me gripping the chair.

"What's going to happen?"

" I would say chemo. That was what worked last time." Yeah it worked it also left me basically bed bound for over a year. "We'll start you on a plan soon."

-0.o.0-

I lie down on the small couch. Someone knock on the door and I stay quiet. Maybe if I pretend I'm not here they will go away. Then there is the sound of a key turning and a "I know you're in there Fray." Simon is the only person with a spare to my apartment so I brace myself for his company. "Answer your phone." His eyes light up in realization and go dark. "Please tell me it was good news or someone just died in a tv show."

"No." He comes over and sits next to the couch.

"Is the-" I don't even let him finish.

"Yes."

"You'll be fine. I have no doubt. You just need over nineteen hours of your favorite boy wizard." Simon reaches into his bag and pulls out 8 DVD's.

"Set them up and I'll make coffee." I stand up and head to the kitchen when my phone buzzes in my back pocket.

Jace: Meet me Takis 9 2nite.

To my surprise I respond:

Clary: Sure.

Now I need to get rid of Simon.

In the end I call Magnus and ask him to call at at 8:30 ish. He is going to make sure Simon leaves. I know it's mean but I really don't want to explain my premise for going on a date. Magnus called and said the Simon's mom's cat died and that she was an emotional wreck. He left and I went out.

-0.o.0-

The sun was setting and the Taki's sign glowed a nasty neon. Jace was already inside. A small part of me lights up. It's weird. Only a few hours ago I was scared out of my mind and now none of that matters. The door feels heavy as I open it. I slid into the plastic bench opposite of Jace. "I got you a milkshake." He says.

"Thanks. Is Max alright?"

"He's fine." There grows to be a minor awkward silence.

"Why'd you pick Columbia?" I ask.

"It was close to home."

"Same." My parents were scared of letting me live in an apartment in the same city as them, they would never even consider an out of state college.

"So who is Red?"

"My name is Clary. I like art and I have a weird pizza and ketchup fetish. I was born and raised in Brooklyn. Now who is Goldi-Locks?"

"My name is Jace. I love my car. I play basketball but probably won't this year. Once Alec and I bought a crapload of post-it notes and covered my neighbors car in them completely. The man is an asshole. He was plucking them off for weeks. I guess he was in a sticky situation."

"Did you get caught?" I ask not laughing at his pathetic attempt at a joke.

"He probably figured it out. There aren't many kids where we live." A tall waitress comes to our table with our milkshakes. She asks for our order. Damn it. I haven't looked at the menu. I just order what I got last time so I don't look like an idiot. Jace is really beautiful. I think and the thought stays with me.

"Are you any good at the piano?"

"You'll have to listen to me sometime. The noise of the angels will grace your ears."

Then we just keep talking. The two of us going on and on. Sometime later we ended up parked in front of my apartment building.

"See you tomorrow, right?" he asks.

"I really don't remember agreeing to that." His smile falters slightly.

"Come on Red, you'll want to see this again." he adds gesturing to himself.

"Fine. Lunch, but Goldilocks, I'm cooking it." He leans out of the drivers eat and kisses me. For the split second we touch nothing else exists. His lips are cool and leave a lingering sensation from where he touched me. "I can't wait for tomorrow." I say. Then I go back inside.

Upstairs in my apartment the TV's on. Simon's here. "How's your Mom?" I ask.

"She was fine and her cat is alright too. I knew it was Magnus and he was too quick to sell you out."

"Sorry," I walk over to the couch were Simon sits.

"Where'd you go?"

"On a date."

"Really?" there is the sound of doubt in his voice.

"Yes, really."

"Who?"

"Jace. He goes to Columbia."

"Wayland?"

"Yeah, You know him?"

"How oblivious are you?! He's the freaking star of the basketball team. He is a shoo in for the NBA." He said he did play basketball. I didn't think like serious collage ball.

"Cool we were on Goblet of Fire right?"

"He doesn't have the best rep with women Clary. Just be careful and, no, Order of the Phoenix." A player. He didn't seem like this. Jace has an ego too big for the world but he seems really genuine. He never even talked about, you know, doing it. He'll be here tomorrow. Till then.


	3. Chapter 3: White Rose

**Hey! Huge thank you to all who reviewed! WoW this story has a lot of followers please share your thoughts! Another thanks to me amazing beta: TheOneAndOnlyFangirl!**

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I spent the morning cleaning my dinky 3 bedroom apartment. Textbooks that were stacked around the coffee/ kitchen table are now moved to my room. I slammed a pizza in the oven and by the time Jace called up I was dead tired. I have to let him in from downstairs, moments later he is at my door. "Hey."

"Hey," I move to let him in.

"Your apartment is cute."

"It's small."

"At least you don't live with your parents." They wanted me to so much though.

"I thought you had an apartment."

"I guess I do, technically. Alec and I share one by the college but we rarely use it."

"Why?"

"It's better to be home." His tone is one of someone who does not want to be questioned further. Anyway the oven dings. Jace sits down on the couch. I place on a trivet that was on the coffee table and put an oven mitt on. I grab the pizza and race to put it down as the heat burns through my mitt. "Hot?" He asks.

"Hot."

"Like you." he says, sending chills through my spine.

"Cliche." I reply, acting nonchalant.

"Yeah you're right. You aren't hot; you are beautiful." My face gets warm.

"What do you want to drink?"

"Coke."

"I have Pepsi."

"Fine," he sighs. I grab him a can and I grab myself one. It takes another trip to the kitchen to gather the plates and stuff. We cut the pizza. "You made this?"

"Technically DiGiorno did, but I put it in the oven."

"It takes skill not to burn it."

"That is true." Jace opens his can and takes a sip. I take my pizza and dunk it in some ketchup.

"That is weird."

"It tastes good." He reaches over and dips his pizza in my ketchup. Then he eats it.

" is good."

"I know." I finish my piece and put my head on Jace's shoulder. I shouldn't be leading Jace on like this. It isn't fair. Every time I think of being without him I can't stand it. This is ridiculous. It is only our third date. I have to call this off now. It's not fair to him. "Jace, I can't do this." I say sitting up.

"Do what?"

"This. Us."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just can't be in this right now. I am so sorry."

"Did I do something?"

"No. I just can't do this. Please just go. I am truly sorry."

"Alright." He leaves and I fall over into the fetal position.

-0.o.0-

I was crying. It was a really pathetic scene. When someone knocks on my door I have to run to the sink and wash my face off. When I open the door, arms close around me before I can see who it is. The person says, "Clary, I missed you." It's my mom and Luke. My mom lets go and I move to let them in.

"I guess Simon called." I state.

"You didn't."She says and a wave of guilt runs through me.

"I'm sorry."

"No, we get there is a lot on your mind." adds Luke.

"You have got no idea."

"Clary, you'll fight through this," encourages my mom. I just blew my chance with Jace, though.

"I know."

"Do you want to move back with us?"

"No. I want to stay here. Simon will keep coming by."

"Alright Honey."

"Thanks you guys."

"I love you sweetie."

" I love you too." she gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading to the door. Luke follows but lingers to say, "I know you're a survivor Clary and I love you."

"You too." Then they are gone. I go to close the door but something white catches my eye. It's a rose. I grab and take it into my apartment. There is a ribbon and a note tied around it. It reads 'Tell me what's wrong. ~J'

If only I could, Jace, if only I could.

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**Sorry about this being short, but the next one will be longer!**


	4. Chapter 4: Eight words

**Hey! I know It's been awhile but the truth is I have an overuse injury in my hand and have been told not to type or text or write. It sucks. Anyway I've snuck some time with my laptop. To anyone that reviews I'll message you the first 500-ish words of the next chapter. That will probably go up next weekend possibly early in the week following it. Anyway... I'm sorry about the wait and enjoy!**

* * *

It has been one week since Jace and I split. Everyday since he has left me a white rose with the word please written on it. Today I go to meet with my doctor to talk about treatment plans.

Today there was no white rose.

Maybe Jace gave up. Part of me hopes that he did but more of me wants him right here. I just go to St. John's. The rose affair stays in the back of my mind. Maybe he is gone for good. I don't want him gone but he has to be.

Doctor Smiths office feels can sense the impending doom. Cancer treatments is a pick your poison ordeal. "Like I said before, Clary," Dr. Smith begins, "Chemo would be the most effective on you. When you had cancer before that was what pushed it over edge. Radiation simply didn't give the results we wanted."

"When will I start?"

"I say about two weeks." That is so close. Two weeks. The weird part is I feel fine. I haven't been feeling sick. Only things that have happened is I've gotten a few bad headaches. Never did I think it meant this.

It is decided that I will start with chemo once a week for 12 weeks. I'll have to ask Simon to drive me. He has a car. So does Jace, I think. The thought is hastily put away.

I get out of the elevator at my apartment. There sat Jace. His back was against my door. He was playing on his phone. When the floor creaked under my feet he jumped to attention.

"Jace," I say halfly surprised.

"Umm... hey. I got you these." He thrusts a bunch of roses my way.

"Thanks." I take them. "I really can't talk right now."

"Come on, Red, just a few minutes."

"How long were you out here?"

"2 hours." Damn it.

"Alright, come in." He smirks and I open the door.

"What's up Clary?"

"I am just stressed out. I really feel bad about spazzing out on you."

"You know what? I really like you Clary."  
"I like you a lot too, Jace."

"Can we still be together?"

"I..." I try to think of a reason but nothing comes to mind. "Sure." I am going to regret this. I don't want him to get hurt

"Let me play something for you." he suddenly asks.

"I don't have a piano."

"My house. I have one there. Come on." We walk outside and into his camero. "Tell me all about your problems."

"Oh it's nothing much. Just school and stuff." I can tell he does believe me, so I change the topic. "What are you going to play me?"

"A song."

"Hmm... I wouldn't of guessed."

We roll up on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. "This is home." Jace says pulling into a parking spot.

"You live here?!" I say gesturing to the montage of utterly expensive homes.

"Don't I just keep getting better?"Jace pulls out a key as we bound up the stairs. The house is a pale blue four story. It is elegant. The inside is just as wonderful. It is all decked out in modern furniture. "Come over here, Red." Jace moves toward an oddly shaped piano. It is weirdly beautiful. I sit down next to Jace on the bench. "What do you want to hear?"

"Clique." I joke.

"No."

"Don't Stop Believing."

He thinks for a minute before saying, "That works." His fingers move. They hit keys and create a melody.

I sing, "Just a small town girl/ Livin' in a lonely world/ She took the midnight train goin' anywhere."

Jace picks it up, "Just a city boy/ Born and raised in south Detroit/ He took the midnight train goin' anywhere." Man, he can sing. His fingers dance and his voice swells. By the time the song finishes we are kissing. We are right next to each other. We were one.

"There is a million rooms in the house, pick one!" says a female voice. Jace and I fly apart like a kid caught with his hand inside a cookie jar.

"Damn it Isabelle."

"I came to ask you if you know where Alec is."

"Nope." As if on cue, the front door opens and someone, who I am guessing in Alec, walks in. "I found Alec!" exclaims Jace.

"Who's that?" Alec asks looking at me.

" My girlfriend." He says the word with so much confidence.

Girlfriend.

The word burns into me. It bounces around my brain. A week ago I told him to leave me alone. Now he's my boyfriend.

"I'm Clary," I add.

"Alec, and I am assuming you met Izzy."

"Umm... Yeah." I reply, cringing at the thought of her first impression of me.

"Those two were making out on the piano." Izzy adds matter-of-factly.

"Too much information." Alec says, grimacing.

"Alright who want delivery?" asks Izzy loudly.

"Mu shu pork!" exclaims Jace. "Are you going to stay Clary?"

"I will." I say. Izzy goes to order and Alec sits on the couch. Jace sits down too and I follow. The couch is leather and about four times bigger than mine. "Where are your parents?" I ask.

"Dad's on a business trip and Mom's in town." says Alec. Jace and him are almost opposite. Isabelle and Alec are dark while Jace is golden. I know he's adopted but it is like light and day.

"You go to Columbia, I'm guessing." says Isabelle entering the room again.

"Yeah, art major."

"I'm studying fashion. Alec wants to be an oncologist." What? I almost jump out of my seat but I keep my cool. I put a smile on and act normal.

"That's neat." I say sounding retarded.

"Alec has this thing called actual ambition." starts Jace.

"Shut up." counters Alec, "you're NBA gold."

"I on the team." sighs Jace leaning back.

"What's wrong?" I ask him.

"Oh nothing, Let's play scrabble!"

"Really?" ask Isabelle "Do we even own it?"

"Yep." and Jace takes off down the hallway.

Goldilocks walks back into the room with the game. I slid off the couch so I am no kneeling on the floor. We all pick seven letters. Jace starts with 'do.' I am able to build devil off the 'd.' Alec puts laser and Izzy places awe down. Round two starts with 'you' by Jace. In 8 turns I notice something: Jace made a sentence. He scrambled out 'Do you want to go out two morrow?' I look at my letters: C. I place the Y and the S around a E. He smiles and I smile, then our Chinese comes.


	5. Chapter 5: I'm sick

**Hey! So, this is the longest chapter so far! Some good news: My hand is out of the cast. Bad news: I'm forbidden to write. Good news: I hate people telling me what I can't do. Huge thanks to my beta, OneandOnlyFangirl. You are such a huge help! Don't forget to R&R please!**

**P.S. Those who read the sneak peek and know what's coming, it only gets worse. **

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I've seen Jace almost everyday for the past two weeks. Today is the beginning of the end. I rise early and meet Simon outside, he is driving me to the hospital. I wish Jace was coming with me. He'll probably never want to see me again after he finds out. "Hey Fray, relax." says Simon as we hit another red light.

"I can't." My eyes lock straight ahead. They don't focus just stare. I just stare and watch. I am unfocused and helpless.

"You haven't told Jace." Simon deadpans.

"No."

"or Mags?"

"No."

"Do it, Clary, just do it. Like the Nike ad."

"I can't they'll leave."

"Am I still here?"

"You're locked in with seniority."

"Do you want me to stay?" he asks.

"Please." I whisper.

o.O.o

I elevator doors open to the Oncology floor. I feel like I am marching to war with each step. I check in at the desk and behind it is a row of curtained beds. Some are open and displaying patients, others are closed. I nurse at reception passes me on to another wearing a purple nurse shirt and white pants. Simon follows us as we walk along the wall of curtains. The nurse introduces herself as Shannon. We tell her our names but she already knows mine. She drops us off at the end of the line of cloth. I climb into the leather-ish medical chair. The nurse explains that she is going to draw blood before hitting me a needle.

"Doctor Smith decided that placing a VAP machine in our arm would be the best way to administer the medicine." I already know this fact but she says it calmly. This will be hard to hide. long sleeves maybe. The nurse injects me with some novocaine. It burns a little bit but soon enough I can't feel a thing. That is probably a good thing. Simon is sitting in the rooms wooden chair. He looks revolted as the nurse puts a clear pipe into me. If it wasn't for the industrial strength novocaine I would of been out of that chair in pain. There is a small box attached to the pipe and more lines off of that. The nurse taps it into place and flushes it. A clear liquid runs perfectly through the device and into me. At least it won't have to be redone.

The box is on my left arm, theory being I don't use it as much. Shannon starts talking about at the pre-chemo drugs that are going into me.. I tune her out. Eventually she justs hooks me up and leaves. "Did that hurt?" Simon asks kind of freaked out.

"Not really. Why do you looked weirded out. I had one of these before."

"Yeah, but I never saw them put it in!"

"Get off your high horse. I'm fine." Si just shrugs. We sit for the rest of the time making small talk. Not long after the nurse enters again and hooks me up to a different set of drugs. The chemo drugs. It takes hours for this to enter me. Simon and watch videos off his phone. Shannon enters the room again this time someone is behind her. A particular guy with dark hair and blue eyes. Alec.

"Hey Clary," starts Shannon, "This is Alec. He's a med student at Columbia University."

"Clary?" he asks.

"Alec." This. can't. be. true. The drugs must be doing something to me. Please someone help.

"You guys know each other?" Simon and my nurse sya at the same time.

"Ehm. Yeah." I say before turning to Simon, "He's Jace's brother." that shuts Si up. Alec and I stay in an awkward silence while Shannon detaches me from the medicine line. Alec and i are just locked in eye contact. It is as if one of us looks away an unseeable force will crush us. We just keep looking at each other in silence until Alec says, "Jace doesn't know?"

"Not yet." I see a slight nod or at least I think I do. That is the entire conversation. My pump gets flushed and I'm cleared to go.

As soon as we get in the empty elevator Simon starts. "Who was that?"

"Alec. Jace's brother."

"Is he going to tell him?"

"I don't know." I say. "Please just be quiet. I've got a headache." Simon is quiet and I rub my temple as if the pressure will send the ache away. We walk into the lobby area. It if busy with people going to and fro. We go out to the car. Wind pounds though the gaps in the concrete parking garage. Simon's car is not far from the elevator. I get in shotgun and Simon starts the car up. It makes a large purr. I check my phone. New Message from Jace. Thats where I halt. Alec must of called him. Jace will know and he'll probably never want to see me again. All my energy goes to pushing the open button.

Jace: Do u plan on seeing me 2nite?

I physically sigh. Simon glances at me funny but goes back to focusing on switchin lanes.

Me: Not feeling up to anything.

Jace: u sick?

Me: In a way.

Jace: I am a fantastic nurse! u home?

Me: heading there

Jace: C U soon.

I shut my phone. "You okay?" Si asks.

"Yeah." I lie.

-o.O.o-

I had just made it up to my apartment. Simon cocooned me in a blankets and turned the TV on. He leaves when Jace enters. I toss all the blankets Simon wrapped me in on the floor. "Hey you okay?" he asks.

"No."

"I'll takes care of you. First order of business; tea." Jace pulls a styrofoam cup out of the cardboard tray in his hand.

"Thanks."

"Now what do I need to do to make you get back to normal?"

"Just sit. I need to tell you something."

"What is it?" He sits with his back against my coffee table, facing me at almost eye level.

I open my mouth to speak but have trouble finding the words. How exactly do you explain this? I just close my mouth and try again. "I'm sick."

"I can figure that out, Red."

"I mean, like, long term. I have cancer." His face goes blank but as if a heavenly power is watching Jace's phones goes off. He ignores it.

"Really?"

"Yeah," I sigh, "I had my first chemo treatment today."

"When's your next one?"

"A week."

"I'll take you." He doesn't want to leave. Jace wants to stay with me. There is a long pause before he speaks again. "What type do you have?"

"Leukemia. I had it before."

"Well, Red, I have no doubt that I will be seeing you for a long time to come. Just relax... oh damn."

"What" I say leaning back.

"Oh just nothing. I just have class in twenty minutes."

"Go"

"No."

"I'll be fine." I say not letting this go.

"Let me have Izzy come over."

"Fine." So we negotiated.

"Alright. Don't be late."

- Jace P.O.V -

I walk out of Clary's apartment. I can't believe that she has cancer. She should've told me earlier at least. I get in my Camaro and drive. Then Alec decides to call. My finger dances over the button before pushing it. "What?"

"Geez."Alec says, "What's wrong?"

"Not a good day."

"Why?"

"I just found out Clary has cancer."

He pauses, "I'm sorry dude."

"You home?"

"Yeah."

"Max alright?"

"The usual."

"Thanks, I got to go to class."

- Clary P.O.V-

Isabelle can be something else. I only meet her a handful of times in the past. She was sitting on the loveseat flipping through a magazine. "I don't need you to baby sit me."

"I know but Jace will kill me if I leave you alone. Do you have some nail polish?"

"Umm. Yeah" I stand up and grab a pouch from my bedroom. Then I hand it to her.

"Give your foot." She demands. I sit back and place my feet on her lap. She brushes the paint brush up along my toes one by one. She finishes my right foot when someone knocks on the door. "I'll get it."

"Alright." She stands up. Isabelle opens the door, but has it closes enough so I can't see who it is.

"Hey, is Clary there?" Says a voice I instantly recognize as Simon.

" is asking?" says Isabelle.

"Her friend Simon."

"Friend," stresses Isabelle.

"Yes, friend. Can I come in now?"

"Do you have a pen?" I can hear Simon moving around.

"Yeah," Isabelle pulls something out of her back pocket, a receipt. "Here, and you can come in now." The swings open. "Simon's here!" she announces loudly.

"Hey, Si."

"Hey Fray, you alright?" he asks.

"Good." I get up and go place a plastic cup inside my Keurig. It makes me coffee. I casually check my phone while it works. Magnus texted me.

Magnus: Hey let's hang out

Me: Not up to it now

There is like two people in my itsy bitsy apartment already.

Magnus: Ill come over and just watch movies of sumthin.

Me: Simons already here

Magnus: R u avoiding me?

Me: no.

I take my mug and sit down. "Mags?" asks Simon inquiring about my phone.

"Yep." I say popping the p.

Magnus: You home?

Me: Yeah

"He's coming," Guesses Simon.

"Totally."

"Who is Mags?" asks Izzy.

"Just wait." says Simon.

-o.O.o-

I buzz Magnus in and Simon opens the door. "I'm here!" He exclaims making a grand entrance.

"Yes, I know." Magnus is wearing a sparkly jacket that reflects the light and causes transparent circles on my walls.

"Hey you didn't tell me Isabelle Lightwood was going to be here."

"This is Mags?" Izzy says.

"You guys know each other?" I ask.

"Same class. What are you doing here Isabelle?"

"Jace asked me to take care of Clary." He wheels on me.

"You are with Jace?!"

"Umm... I am going to say yeah."

"Details!"

"Not in the mood."

"Excuses." He sighs. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing really." I can feel Simon's burning gaze. Isabelle is giving me a similar one. "Screw it..." I pause. "I got cancer."

"Really?"

"No I'm lying." I say sarcastically.

"So you have cancer." he says

"Yes. I had chemo today for the first time."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't say that."

"Why?"

"Makes me feel like I'm dying." That quiets everyone. There is quite a pause in the conversation until Magnus asks, "Where is it?"

"Leukemia, in my blood."

I look around. Everyone has looks of sympathy or pity. Some are more depressing than others. All of them are bugging me. I don't want people to feel bad for me. I don't want people to look at me like I'm a glass doll who is falling from a second story window. "Please stop looking at me like at that!" I tell them.

"like what?" Izzy asks.

"Like I am you favorite toy that your brother lit on fire." They realize what they are doing and try to stop. "Let's go outside."

"Where?"

"Anywhere." I put my flip flops and notice I only have one foot painted green. Oh well. "I am getting sick of these walls." And all of sitting around not sure what to say.

"You sure?" asks Simon.

"Yep. Let's go for ice cream."

"Alright." We take Simon's car and only have to drive two blocks to we reach the closest ice cream shop. It's a Cold Stone. Simon is lucky enough to find a parking spot and we go inside. I order a Vanilla soft serve. The others tell the serving lady what they want. I lick lamely at the cone. I am not hungry, but I just needed to get these three outside. I sit down on the booth and the others come over and join me. Someone's phone rings. It's Izzy. There is a slight flash of fear behind her eyes. The same flash that was in Jace's eyes on our first date. She opens the phone and the remains quiet listen to the person on the other end. Eventually she says, "I'll be there soon." Izzy's eyes lock mine for a second. "I have got to go. Really sorry." She gathers her stuff and hurries out. We watch her leave. Her ice cream is still on the table.

"So, What's up?" Si asks awkwardly.

"I don't know but that isn't the first time a Lightwood has run off on me."

Jace texted me saying he was super sorry, but wasn't going to be able to come back and hang out with me. I asked what was wrong. He didn't respond. That was an hour ago. Now I am calling him. It goes to voicemail. 'Hey, it's Jace. Either I'm not at my phone or I am avoiding you. Leave a message and I might call you back.' I end the call and drop my phone on my couch. Then the phone starts ringing again. I answer.

"Hey, Clary." Jace's voice is tight. It's natural cadence, gone.

"What's wrong?"

"Max," he breathes out, "he's sick."

"How sick?"

"Like you Clary, almost exactly like you."

"What do you mean like me?" I ask.

"Like cancer. He's dying." The only noise is the dead air that comes over the phone.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine."

"Do you need anything?"

"No. I'll call you later." My day had hit rock bottom. How could Max be so sick. The kid was sweet and innocent. Isn't that what most people are when they are dying senselessly. I shove my phone and in my pocket and look around not sure what to do.


	6. Chapter 6: a visit

**Hey! I have a list of reasons to why I haven't uploaded. I am not going to put that here though because ou probably don't care and I'm kind of ashamed of how stupid they are. Enjoy!**

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I woke up Saturday morning to the sound of my phone. It was buzzing on the stand next to me. I take a look at the caller. Jace. I answer, "Hey."

"Hey, whats up Red?" questions a deep voice over the phone.

"Nothing. I was just sleeping."

"Didn't mean to wake you."

"No problem. Why'd you call?"

"Oh it's nothing. I was just wondering if you wanted to visit Max with me today?"

"Yes," I say instantly. My mind is saying yes and my body no. My mind controls my mouth. I kick the covers off me and stand up.

"A hour?" Jace asks.

"Sure. I'll see you here." The call gets dropped. I get ready to take a shower. Each movement causes an ache in a joint. This is the first time Jace has asked asked to visit Max with him. Jace is there almost everyday. Maybe he just wasn't ready. Or maybe some stupid reason like they just moved him out of the ICU. Whatever reason I am going today.

-o.0.o-

Jace rang for my apartment and I went down to him. "You look nice." He says as soon as he sees me.

"Really? I feel like crap."

"If you don't feel like it you don't have to come." ,

"I want to."

"Just can't miss out on having a moment with me.

"Yep." I say well aware that I am just inflating his ego. Then I rise up on my tip-toes and kiss him on the cheek.

"Just that perfect." Now we start off down the stairs and into Jace's car.

-o.0.o-

When we roll up to the hospital an ambulance cuts in front of us and we go to park in the garage. The muscle car just goes up the winding ramp until there is a spot found that Jace sees fit. We get out and walk. Jace is different here. He seems on edge like something could go wrong at anytime. He's quieter.

"He's on the sixth floor." Jace states matter-of-factly when we reach the lobby.

"Alright." I say. "Let me run in the gift shop and get him something." I take off to the shop and Jace follows in tow.

"What does he like?" I ask Jace who already seems bored with the stores selection. I don't even want to learn the amount of times he has been here. When I was sick the first time Simon went to the gift shop 25 times. (He kept a list.) Jace... probably more. In the end I settle on a Batman balloon that says 'Get well soon.' We walk back out and into the hospital's elevator. It's empty and when it starts to move my stomach decides it's time to become a train and head for my throat. I close my eyes and rest my hands over my face.

"Clary?" There is a genuine concern in Jace's voice. "You alright?"

"Mum-hum. Just nauseous. The drugs they gave me to stop this aren't really working." Then there is the sensation of him strong and lean arms wrapping around me. We are still wrapped together when a family with three youngsters walk in the elevator.

"You shouldn't of come. You should be home eating chicken soup."

"It will pass. It always does. Plus I want to come." I look up to him. Drat being short.

When we reach our floor and get off, Jace links his hand in mine and leads me off to the sign in desk. I've seen people do it a hundred times. They go up to the sterile white desk and put there name in a log book. They'll sometimes ask for ID, sometimes not depending who is on duty. This time they didn't. Jace already knew the room number so we didn't need to ask. The door was open and we walked in. The Batman balloon trailed behind me. Max was on a DS. The poor kid was hooked up to IV pumps and had a cannula wrapped between his ears. Without looking up he says, "Hey Jace."

"What's up Max?"

"Nothing," He closed the DS and his sunken eyes looked up at us. "Are you Clary?"

"Yep. How'd you know?" I ask.

"Jace said he was bringing you." I give a sideways look to Jace who was placing two chairs next to each other on the oppposite side of Max's bed. Then he motioned for me to sit down next to him and I did.

"So Naruto?" I say eyeing the manga on the boys bed.

"Yeah, you know it?"

"Totally. We'll have to go to Forbidden Planet sometime."

"As soon as I'm out of here we can go." The boy speaks.

"Deal."

"Max," starts Jace probably making a conversation he can join, "what did you do yesterday?"

"Nothing. They took me to the lounge for a few hours." God, I hated the lounge when I was here. It was suppose to be a place for all the younger cancer patients to go and socialize. It was pathetic though. The walls were a sickly color and none of the games had all the pieces. The playhouses and scooters sat barely used because most were to sick to use them. It was ideally a patient only 'fun-zone.' Or so it says on the door. But having no one healthy in there allowed for no one to lighten the mood.

"I dreaded that place." I say to Max.

"It is depressing." Max agrees.

"What is this place you speak of?" ask Jace in a mid-evil style.

"Picture the island of misfit toys, before that dude shows up and makes it better." I respond.

"Let's go there and I can make it better!"

"Aside from the fact that your ego is making your head so big it won't fit through the door; you have got to be a card carrying member of the I Have Cancer Club." Jace plays hurt and I playfully nudge him. JUst then Max lets out a rib-shattering cough. When he stops his voice is hoarse as he tries to speak.

"Jace says you have cancer too."

"I do. It's in my blood."

"Mine's all over me." He tries to joke. We all pause of a awkward silence. "Radiation?" Max questions.

"No. Chemo."

"Oh."

"What?" I ask.

"You just look really good." Then he looks at Jace and catches himself. It's cute. "I mean healthy." I got what he meant though. I still had my hair. There was still color in my cheeks. I still looked normal-ish. Even though in a matter of days that is bound to change.

"You don't look bad either." I say and everyone know that it's a lie. Max was very clearly sick. It's just one of those things you don't say. You lie and wish you were telling the truth. Not soon after that the nurse came in and asked us to leave so she could check Max's vitals and stuff. Jace and I signed out and got into the camaro.

"How long do they think he has?" Asks I to Jace.

"Not sure. They think maybe a month if lucky. He was suppose to be gone a year ago."

"Is that why you're not sure about doing basketball this year?"

"I guess."  
"Doctors can be wrong," but they can also be right.

* * *

**Hey again! I've seen a bunch of fics start doing story recommendations and stuff and was wondering if you guys would care if I started it. **

**Anyway, R&R please!**


	7. Chapter 7: the morning of

**A huge thanks to my beta Oneandonlyfangirl! I always forget to thank here with these chapters but she goes though everyone one of them! Enjoy!**

* * *

Jace was a snoring mess when I found him this morning. Somehow that snoring mess looked freaking sexy, though. Then I remembered it was Wednesday and I had the honor of going back to the hospital for some more cancer fighting poison. I grab a pillow from my bedroom and toss it at Jace's unconscious form. He blots straight up, still groggy. "What?" He asks rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"Time to rise and shine."

"Alright, Mom." He stands up with his blanket falling to his feet. He slept only in basketball shorts. His entire upper body is exposed. Damn, was he beautiful. Defined muscles like a stone statue. His body almost seemed to glow. "Like what you see, Red?"

"Just get dressed." I say heading to my Keurig. "Coffee?"

"Sure. I'll take it black." He walks up and embraces me around the waist from behind. I slide the mug into the brewer and press the start button. "You need a better couch."

"That couch was twenty bucks at a yard sale. The buy of the year!" I joke.

"It's gonna break my back." he shot back.

"Well, currently I'm this thing called broke." I grab the now full mug and wrap Jace's hand around it.

"Let me buy it." He recommends.

"No way."

"Come on. It will be payback for for all the food I eat here and the coffee."

"Nope. If it hurt your back so much you could always sleep in my bed : it's big enough for both of us."

"Really, Red?" He turns me to face him. He face has a sly expression.

"Oh. Not like that." I feel the heat rise to my cheeks.

"Really?" He pushes further.

"Maybe a little like that."

"I thought so."

"Not now though. Not with all this happening."

"Alright. How long until we have to leave?" he questions.

"45 minutes." I reply.

"Can I use your shower?" he asks.

"I was going to." A sense of mischief appears on Jace's face. "No. I mean yes." I give up. "I'll go in after. Be quick!" Jace places his mug down and slides down the hall and into the bathroom.

I grab Jace's full cup of coffee and add sugar to make it my own. Then I sit down on the couch, which is still warm from Jace's body. The TV flicks onto the news. A celebrity died and apple has a new product. I was amidst a report about a murder investigation when Jace walked in. He was butt-naked except for a towel that he tried to wrap around his hips. "Keep a strong hand on that towel, Goldilocks." I say reaching down to the bag Jace brought with him. It's a sling bag and the moment I lift it up I realize it's filled with bottles. One by one I pull them out and set them on the coffee table. Even one I pull out makes me laugh a little harder. Hair Gel. Hair spray. Leave-in conditioner. There is ten bottles in total. "Okay," I say looking up at him, "that's a little unnecessary." I try to contain my laughter.

"I have to work for the perfect sweep. Even though I'd knock everyone dead even without it."  
"I'm still kicking. Seriously. That's more hair products than what I used the entirety of high school." Granted, I didn't have much if any hair for a large amount of high school.

"Umm. Showers free." Says Jace trying to change the topic from his obsessive amount of hair supplies.

"Thank you Captain Obvious." I walk by him, but one of his arms sneaks out and pulls me close. He kisses me and I kiss him back. Electricity seems to be flowing through us. It is as if our lips are sewn together. Then we pull apart. I sneak out of his grasp and into the bathroom.

-0.o.0-

We pull up to the hospital and swerve into the underground garage. There is a spot on the second level down. We get into the elevator and I press the button for the lobby. It climbs stopping to pick an elderly couple up on the garage's first level. I am back in the familiar lobby. Jace wraps his hand around my shoulders. When we reach the elevators Jace doesn't even ask the floor number. He just presses the button already knowing it without me telling him. The doors close leaving us not alone, but crammed in with other people. Everytime the door opens the people inside awkwardly push around to let a different group out. Luckily, Jace and I don't have to go the top floor. The two of us get out and walk to the check in desk. "Clary Fray," Jace says to the nurse, a rather large African American in a Winnie the Pooh nursing shirt.

"You're Clary Fray?" She jokes with Jace.

"No. She is."

"Alright then, Clary Fray and Mr. Not Clary Fray can follow me." The woman stands up and walks out from behind the desk. She grabs a clipboard and asks me my birthday. I tell her and she opens a curtained station. I get up in the big chair. The nurse hooks me up to a series of medicine lines. The clear liquid starts to pour into me. Then the nurse leaves Jace and I alone.

"I wonder if Alec is here?" Thinks Jace outloud. He pulls his phone out of his back pocket. He pushes some buttons and closes his phone. Not a minute later a phone dings on the other side of the curtain. "I guess he's here."

"Maybe it's a coincidence?" I suggest and Jace send another text. There is an identical ding.

"He's gonna kill me."

"I won't let him."

"For once the damsel will save the prince."

"Don't call me the damsel."

"Fine, but you can still call me the prince." He looks down guilty at his phone. "One more text?" He asks.

"It's rude."

"But..."

"Fine." There is more button pressing and not soon after a ding. Both of us start to crack up. There is the sound of footsteps leaving the booth next to mine. Then someone opens the curtain around Jace and I. It's Alec.

"Hey Clary."

"Hey." I say.

"Hello dearest brother," starts Jace.

"Quit it. I mean it." He sighs." Izzy's upstairs with Max. He might get out today."

"That's good." Jace offers quietly.

"We just need to find a better place for all of us to hang out. Anyway I got to go." With that Alec leaves. Jace still has his phone out as if to debate Alec's wrath over his own enjoyment.

"Stop." I say to Jace who apparently decided his own enjoyment was worth more.

"I'm done. I just told him I'd stop."

"There's no hope for you."

"Yet, you're still here."

"I like a hopeless cause." Jace scoots his chair next to mine. Then he offers me a headphone and turns his Ipod on. Coldplay fills my ears. Nice choice, "The Scientist." I recline the chair I'm in. Jace laces his fingers through my hair and glides them from root to tip. We don't say much for a while, only listening to the music. It swells and dies out. "Hey, Jace." I say after a couple songs.

"What's up, Red?"

"That."

"What?"

"Red. Soon enough you won't be able to call me that."

"Why not?" He asks.

"Because..." I start but let it die. This is something I haven't really thought about. Most likely sometime this week my hair will start to come out. I know in the battle of my cancer being gone or my hair the former lives. But Jace won't be able to call me Red anymore. It was something I hated but learned to love. I flick my eyes up and hold them open. I am trying not to cry.

"I'll still call you Red, Red."

"How though? It won't make sense."

"It will to me. It's a inside joke, you and me."

"Alright then, our joke." I sigh, smiling. "You know what?"

"What?"

"I'm pretty sure I love you." I don't know why I did I just did.

"Well, guess what?"

"What?"

"I'm sure I love you." He leans over kissing me on the head. The sound of Coldplay comes back up.

-o.0.o-

When nurse comes back to free my arm from the machine, Izzy texts Jace asking if he could drive to the hospital and pick up her and Max. Izzy gets the text from Jace saying that he is already here when we bump into her in the lift.

"Clary? Jace?" She starts, "what are you two doing here? I texted you like a minute ago."

"I had an appointment." I say lifting my arm to show the pump where they hooked me up.

"Oh, sorry."

"Not your fault." That's when I notice Max is in a wheelchair. Instantly I feel bad for the kid. "I guess we get to go to Forbidden Planet now?" I say to him.

"Yeah!" He says lifting his arm limpy to try to pump the air. The doors open to the ground level. Jace goes to pay the parking ticket. Izzy pushes Max through the lobby. I follow Jace up. When I get there, he is already done.

"Okay?" he asks.

"Yeah." I say. Jace signals Izzy over and her and Max join us at the garage elevator.

Jace drops Isabelle and Max off first. He rolls up to me apartment building after. "Do you want me to stay?" asks Jace.

"No. Go home to Max."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine."

"Ok then. I'll call you later."  
"Talk to you then." We hug and he leaves.


	8. Chapter 8: Sex and bowling

Jace had been spending more and more time at my apartment. He did take up the offer to sleep in my bed... with me. He was surprisingly modest about it. Now all of you with perverted mines can leave. It was nice. Most mornings he was up way before me. I wasn't really a person to beat in the getting up contest. I was usually exhausted by eight at night. This morning though I was first. Jace went to a game with Alec last night and I was already asleep when he came back. I sat up rubbed the granny stuff out of my I looked over at Jace. He must of been tired because he didn't even change before going to bed. That isn't what catches my eye though. Imbedded in Jace's mop of Golden curls was a small cluster of red hair. As a reflex my hand s move to my head. There is still a large puff. I pick it up with my fingers trying to not wake Jace. "Hmm?" He says rolling over to face. I shove my hand thats full of my hair under my pillow and drop it there.

"Morning." I say.

"You're up early."

"No you're just up late."  
"Wanna go to Ihop?"

"Not going to say no to free food." I really didn't feel like eating. Everything tasted like metal and I wasn't hungry much. But I know Jace wanted to. I grab some clothes from my dresser and turn away from him to get ready. I can tell he's watching me but I don't mind. I turn to him. "Are you going to get dressed or are you just watching me?"

"I really enjoy watching you." Then I realize I'm only in a bra.

"Yeah?" I step closer to him with a new found courage.

"Totally." he sits up, leaning toward me.

"You still want breakfast."

"Can I have you?" He says. I sit on the end of my bed.

"Are you a cannibal now?" I joke.

"Only for you."

"Then I guess I'm on the menu." I make the first move crawling on him and sliding my arms around his waist. He starts to kiss me. Longingly on the neck and eventually trailing along my collarbone.

"You sure?" He asks.

"No time like now."

-o.o.o-

Jace rolls off of me. We both are breathing harder than normal. "Did we really just have morning sex?" I ask out loud.

"Yep" Jace answers popping the p. "What were we going to do before this?"

"Ihop." I respond. Suddenly I feel horribly sick and my mind wills at anything to make it go away. I gets worse in seconds and I lean over the side of the bed planning to get up. My dinner comes up before I can get anywhere. Jace is next to me instantaneously. My back convulses again sending more bile up. My throat burns and JAce rubs my back. After I'm 90% sure I finished, Jace picked me up bridal style and carried me to couch.

"You got any cleaning supplies?" He asks while setting me, down.

"Under the sink." He steps off to the kitchen. "You don't have to. I'll clean it later."

"No, I am a god at this." Jace pulls a bottle of solution and some face clothes out.

"You say you're a god at everything."

"It's true."

"Carry on then. I'll just lay here." He walks off down the hall. I sigh loudly and stare up at the ceiling.

Not five minutes later he comes back. "It smells like daisies. Do you want to shower first?" Jace asks almost instantaneously moving away from the topic.

-0.o.0-

Around noon Izzy comes knocking on my door. She has Simon in tow. I am sit-laying on the couch. Jace is flipping through TV stations, sitting next to me. "Hey, Clare how you feeling?" asks Simon as soon as he enters.

"Fine, for the moment." I respond standing up to face them. "You two never told me you were... you know."

"Yeah, me neither." adds Jace.

"Too busy?" says izzy looking for an accuse.

"With what?"

"You know..." she draws out the last part. i let out a suggestive humm and Simon goes a bright red.

"But really, you two?" I ask out loud.

"Yeah. Why?" asks Simon.

"Did you or did you not spend the entirity of your teenage years on World of Warcraft and at Magic the Gathering tournaments?"

"You were a higher level than me." Simon mummbles.

"I had a lot more time at home." I joke back.

"Whatever. What's up with you two?"

"Nothing." You know, we just finally had sex and then my body was like, 'this is such a magical and perfect moment lets ruin it.' I'm just not going to say that.

"You guys want to go bowling?" asks Simon. Almost everyone looks towards me.

"Okay, I'll watch. You guys can play." Simon says he's gunna call Magnus and Jace is going to call Alec.

The four of us drive off in Jace's camaro, while Magnus and Alec get their own rides. To enter the bowling place you got to a) find a place to park and b) walks around to the back of this brick building and climb down a flight of stairs to what would be the basement. It's not the most glamorous place in the world but it is a) cheap and b) not a tourist place. The alley has loud music and flashing lights. A snack bar gladly proclaims that it now carries beer and popcorn. Those two would not make a nice combination. Jace walks up and pays for two games while everyone tells the lady at the shoe counter their size. I hang awkwardly to the back. The woman asks what my size is and I tell her I'm not bowling. We are sent down to the very last lane and everyone's names appear on the scoreboard above the lane. Everyones name but mine. Balls start being sent down the way. Jace and Izzy getting surprisingly competitive, both are the frontrunners. Magnus and Alec focusing more on secret and curious glances to each other than the game. Simon spending most of the time talking to me and begging Izzy to help move him out of dead last. Me watching like the eyes of T. J. Eckleburg in Gatsby.

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**Doing this at the end. Thanks to my beta, OneandOnlyFangirl! Anyone doing Camp Nanowrimo? I am! **

**Story Recommendation: (TMI) Brooklyn by the Water at Night by SpeakNow1118 (Not TMI) Dirty Little Secret by RoseKatnissWeasley7 (It's a Doctor Who, Max Ride xover)**

**Please R&R! **


	9. Chapter 9: Magnus and Chinatown

I look down at the clusters of red hair in my bathroom sink. I had found the courage to buzz the remains of my mane off. For three days clumps were coming out and covering my shower and bed. It makes a mess. That hasn't been the only changes in these three days. Max was sent back to St. John's. Jace is torn between which of us to spend time with. I keep telling him to stay with his brother, but he is texting me about every second when the kid is asleep. My classes have been put on hold so I'm going to be graduating late. My life really is just great at the current moment. Notice the sarcasm.

I walk out of the bathroom and move to the sink. My eyes keep downward as I fill a glass with water. They work to avoid any reflection of me on the window above the sink. Then I turn around to look out to my living room area, water in hand. One thing about being a sick person that sucks is the boredom. You get so bored. My phone signals a text.

Magnus: I'm coming over. No ifs, ands, or, buts.

Me: Ok.

Luckily for me, I got a web of somewhat overprotective, but entertaining, friends.

-o.0.o-

Magnus saunters into my apartment. "Sweetheart, what's new?" He says then he notices my hair, or better yet, the lack there off. "You and I are going hat shopping."

"I don't want to go hat shopping." I moan.

"Then I'll just have to make you one. It will be sparkly!"

"Hat shopping?" I offer. If Magnus makes me something it will look like a Lady GaGa thing. Then I'm bound in by the 'I made this with my blood sweat and tears for you. You are now obligated to wear it, even if it's ugly, because you are my friend.'

"Smart choice. A black one would look nice. White would wash out. blue would be nice. Red or orange would look good..." He goes on. I vaguely listen in. I just pay attention when he says "Let's go."

Magnus drives me to a little shop in Chinatown. The shop owner instantly greets him with a slap from her newspaper. I laugh and Magnus is shocked. "What was that for?!" He demands of the woman.

"Maggie, you haven't been here in forever. I know what you'll want though. I have just the one for you!" The woman's voice is heavily accented.

"No Mrs. Lu, I'm here for my friend. She's the one in need of a hat." The woman makes a noise of realization.

"Orange would look nice on this one."

"That's what I said!" exclaims Magnus. I look around the shop. There are all different styles. The hats are set on mannequin heads and the shop is small almost making me feel claustrophobic.

"You see one you like?" Mrs. Lu asks.

"Just looking." I respond.

"Come back here. I just finish one. you love it."The woman leads Magnus and I behind the counter and through a beaded curtain. The counter is discolored and the curtain looks like it jumped out of the 80's. In the room behind the curtain is a work bench with a sewing machine and hats. There is also a lot of glitter. That's why Magnus knows this place. "You like this one?" The woman hands me a cap from the pile. The base is orange but along it is carefully embroidered designs. Flowers link around each other. They burst into beautiful explosions. petals and leaves are intertwined.

"It's very pretty."

"Put in on." I slip the cap onto my head. It fits perfectly.

"How much?" I ask.

"For you free. Maggie come around so much and help out. My reward."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome. Now go have fun." Magnus and I walk out of the store.

"So why do you know a hatter in Chinatown?" I ask Magnus.

"Because there are very few places that make my quality of headpieces."

"I am about three hundred percent done with you." I laugh.

"You never know when you will need a good hatter."

"She ever going to help you hide a body if the moment comes down to it?" I tease.

"I got you a free cap. Let's get home I don't want Jace to have a heart attack."

"Why would he?"  
"Do you not notice how much time he spends there?"

"There might not be a there any longer."

"What do you mean?" Inquires Magnus.

"It's expensive with the medical stuff." His arm slides around me.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I say, "it's not your fault. What's new with you and Alec?" Magnus goes a bright red.

"What do you mean?"

"I saw you guys at bowling."

"I don't think he likes me."

"Ask him out." I say commanding.

"What if he says no?"

"He'll go with you, don't worry."

"Alright Fray, my heart is in your pushy hands."

* * *

**Kind short I know, but whatever. It's summer. Please review! I'll give you a virtual cookie! (The good kind I swear. I am not genius enough to hack.) Seriously review though, I only got one review on the last chapter... so yeah. Best Wishes!**


	10. Chapter 10: Max

**Hey! I need to thank Artdrunky for a really awesome idea that I ended up in this chapter. (plus shes written a really awesome au called Co-ed.) Thanks to all who reveiwed! Now on to the story! **

Today was the dreaded day of this week. Still having no choice in backing out or not, I pushed on. Jace was coming with me. He grabs the parking ticket from the automated booth in the cement parking garage. "They should give me a frequent parkers card." he mumbles as his hand shoved the card almost angrily into his pocket.

"Don't get mad over a piece of paper."

"Sorry, I don't mean to take it out on you- Hey asshole!" He yells to car in front of us that stopped slamming of the brakes caused the stack of papers on the dashboard to go flying into my lap. My eyes hit the title on the first one, Columbia Lions basketball registration. Under that it reads the packet is due today.

"Hey Jace?"

"Yeah?" He looks over and sees the paper on my lap.

"It's due today."

"I know."

"Do you plan on filling it out?"

He sighs, "I can't."

"You better. This is your future."

"Yeah," there is a tightness in his voice. It's not exactly anger, but more frustation. "What happens if Max finally does die or you get really sick and I'm in a game. No one will be able to reach me. What happens then?"

"We'll carry on. Jace, you need to be able to be you."

"Clary, it will be to much."

"Do it for me than, Jace, I don't want to watch your life go away with mine."

His chest rises and falls with a deep breath. "You win. You better promise me you'll be okay this season."

"I promise." I say leaning to kiss him on the cheek.

"Alright. Why do I have to love a girl as stubborn as me?"

-o.0.O-

We had spent the three hours of me treatment filling out ridiculously specific forms and going over the contractual agreements. After that I sent Jace back out to his car and over to Columbia to hand those pieces in. I went upstairs to sit with Max. I don't know why but I wanted to visit him without Jace.

I take the elevator up to the correct floor. Still remembering the room number, I didn't need to ask when I signed in. When I go to Max's room he laid in the bed with even more lines connected to him than before. "Max?" I ask softly, afraid to wake him if he is asleep.

He was up. His eyes were just closed. "Where's Jace?" The child croaks.

"Sent him to confirm his spot on the basketball team."

"He wasn't going to play?"

"Not until now."

"Goodjob," he says and I laugh. "Your hair's gone." that kills the laughter.

"So is yours." I state.

"I guess were twinning." there is a gloomy tone to his voice.

"So what's new?" I ask him, trying to change the topic.

"Umm... It took five tries to get an IV in me."

"That sucks. I got one of these." I hold my arm up to show the dangly VAP machine.

"Why are you here?"

"The people downstairs decided to put cancer-fighting poison in my veins."

"Do you feel alright? You could go home? I wouldn't mind." The sentence ends with a rattling cough. The kid is worrying about me. He is the one in the hospital and he is worrying about me.

"Don't ever worry about me. Okay? Just take care of yourself."

"But..." his voice dies down before picking back up. "Don't tell Jace or anyone, I know I am going to die. I don't want to but it's fine. You better live though, because Jace needs you." My eyes had decided to start crying. "I can't tell anyone else this because they would tell me lies, but you get it right? Oh, sorry about not going to Forbidden Planet." They say you know when you're sick and you are going to die, but no one is here to confirm that.

"Don't worry about it, but yeah I get what you mean."

It takes Jace about an hour and a half to to come back a pick me up. We sit outside my place in Jace's car. "I'm gunna have to go move back in with my parents." I tell him.

"Why?"

"It's too much money."

"Come stay with me," he says suddenly.

"What?

"Alec and I have an appartment that we don't use."

"Won't Alec be mad?"

"From the looks of it he'll be out a lot with Magnus."

"Wait. How do you know about that?"

"I'm the all knowing God?" he reads my unimpressed expression and starts again. "I was sitting next to his phone when Magnus texted him."

"Seriously though he won't be mad?"

"Not at all, Red. Let's go look at it right now."

"I'm kind of tired." I say.

"Tomorrow then?" he asks.

"Tomorrow." I agree.

-o.o.o-

When I wake up the next day I text Jace telling him to come over whenever. He's here in under an hour. The ride to Jace's apartment is mostly done in silence. I just didn't feel like talking and he must not of either.

Jace pulls the car into a cement underground garage and swipes a card so he is let in. He gets out and walks over to an elevator. I watch his back as the muscles crease on his back as he unconsciously swings his arms. "Like it so far?" he asks summoning the elevator with the push of a button.

"Yes," I joke, "That parking garage is not like any of the others I've seen." We ride the elevator to the lobby where we have to switch. The lobby is modestly decorated. Think 80's hotel. There is a pudy security guard who sits supposedly looking at some security cameras.

Jace leans casually against the inside of the elevator. "Please tell me this place doesn't have a horrible downfall I haven't seen yet."

"The sink clogs sometimes." Jace says.

"That's fine I mean like there isn't a communal bathroom or something."

"No." Jace's long muscular arm slinks around me, pulling me close. My bald head sits against his shoulder. We go right up to Jace's floor, 4.

He shows me down two doors to apartment 402. After using a key, Jace lets me in first. Okay, here's some math. Take my apartment, times it by two. Now add 50. That's about as big a Jace's place. "Hello?" asks a person on the couch who we cant see.

"Oh, hey Alec." Says Jace.

"Jace, what are you doing here?" Alec asks turning to face us, looking over the back of the couch. His hair is wet from a shower but the shower is running.

"Hey, who's in the shower?" I ask. His face goes a tomato shade of red, borderline Flash red. Then, as if to answer my question, the water cuts and door opens. Out steps Magnus in all his glory. A small towel tries oh-so-hard to cover what counts. It barely succeeds.

"Clary," acknowledges Magnus walking right across the room and into what must be a bedroom.

"I thought you said no one would be here." I say to Jace.

"I also said he'd be spending time with Magnus." Alec was definably Flash red now.

"You two weren't…" Alec starts but doesn't finish.

"Not unless she wanted to, but looks like did."

"Wait, was she going to move here?" He asks.

"Yep." Jace walks off to a door, opens it and flops down on a bed in one fluid motion. The shocking aspect of the room is how clean it is. Most boys rooms aren't exactly pigsties, but none are Jace, Mr. Clean clean. I sit on the foot of the bed.

"I'll take it." I say.

"When do you want to get your stuff?" He asks.

"Can I just stay here today?"

"Whatever you want." I twist to lie next to him but have to scoot up so our faces meet. Darn shortness.


	11. Chapter 11: Thank you

**First off a huge thanks to all who reveiwed so far: Artdrunky, Buttercup1262, noaverageangel, Mel, amgonyea, EaDauntlessShadowhunter9, 191838, kadee son 12345, I am a Gryffindor, Fluffy is amazing, corndoggies13, fofofiona, Molly, grace, without fears, ClaceLover, Oilbhe Wren, WeAreDustAndShadows, Tasune, Wisdomsdaughter2, bethgreat97, AskRii, Thedauntlessshadowhunter, TheMidnightElite, TobiasWillJaceFinnickFourNine, Pottertribute123, heroherondaletotherescue, Disney4ever, ThisIsLaur, JanieJaniceJones, and all the guests! Second, major thanks to OneAndOnlyFangirl for being an awesome beta and putting up with me. Now, on wards to the story!**

* * *

Jace had a basketball meeting, practice thing for basketball today. I stayed in bed at Jace's place alone. My head pounded, like police banging a door down. And every time I tried to move my joints ached in protest. It was not a good feeling. I used my fingers to finish folding a small paper crane. I don't know why I started making these. It's just a thing to do.

Someone opens the door and yells, "Hello?" I want to yell back but vote on that not being a headache solving method. "Clary?" The voice was closer. It was Alec's. He pushes the door to Jace's and my bedroom."What's up?"

"Paper cranes," taken back by how dry my voice sounds I clear my throat before continuing. "You?"

"Homework. Where's Jace?"

"Basketball something."

"You alright?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You don't look good." Thank you so much Sherlock, I think inwardly, Couldn't of figured that out on my own.

"Um, thanks."

"Just wondering. I got homework." And I got cranes. "You know," he starts again, "If you make a thousand cranes you get a wish."

"Great, I've made 2."

-0.o.0-

It was four o'clock and I hadn't heard from Jace. He should be here by now. Then again I haven't heard from anyone since Alec. I grab my phone from the bedside table and texted him. Yes, I did pull a pajama day and stayed in bed.

Despite a vast amount of asprin and other drugs the pounding in my head never ceases. My wayward mind finds itself wondering if this is how the man in the sci-fi show SImon likes always feels. You know I just don't plan on ruling the world.

I continue to wait for any sign of life from Jace. Worrying, I call Magnus to see if he heard anything. Magnus said Alec and him haven't talked since this morning. It was a the same story with Simon.

Jace doesn't come here or call. Neither him, Alec or Izzy answer their phones. They probably spent the night in their family house or something. Someone could have called though.

I must of dozed off because not much later the shrill of my phone wakes me up. Jace's broken voice comes through the speaker.

"Max is gone, Clary. He's gone." my throat catches and I rocket up to a sitting position.  
"You don't mean..."

"I do." My vision starts to cloud and a pressure build in my eyes.

"Where are you?"

"Standing outside the hospital,"

"I'm coming."

"No." There is a different tone to his voice. It's harder. "I'm coming to the apartment."

"You should go home." I say.

"Not now." It was like his heart was bleeding through the phone. "I can't."

"Alright, I'll wait here."

I climbed out of bed and sat on the couch waiting for Jace. When he finally came in, Jace simply joined me on the couch not speaking a word. We both sat in silence. Mustering up the courage to break the silence I speak, "Everything is going to be fine."

"It's not."

"Yes it will, he's in a better place now." I only say it because it feels customary. I also say it because I wish there is a better place to go when you die.

"Don't bullshit me." There was a new tentision in his voice. "Everyone is going to start the bullshit. All the 'I'm sorry's and the 'he's in a better place's. Please, Clary, just don't patronize me."

"I never meant to." I scoot closer to Jace and take his stiffened jaw with his hand. I turn his face to mine.

"I'm sorry for lashing out." He says. "It's just all so -ahhh!" He slams the couch with his fist. Better it's stuffing than anything breakable. My mind find it's way to one of the last things Max told me, "Jace needs you."

"Listen," I start, "I'm not going to lie to you. It's going to suck and you're going to miss him. But it will get better, I promise."

He only says two word before going to bed, "thank you."

* * *

**Who else is excited for the movie on Wednesday?! I am!**


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